Just in time for cold and flu season comes this fun, funny and imminently practical guide to the fine art of germ avoidance.
Admit it, you either are one or you know one: a person who prefers the scent of Purell to perfume, hates public restroom toilets and pushes elevator buttons with their elbow. In a word (well, two), a “Germ Freak.” Well guess what―they’re right!
In the bestselling tradition of the The Paranoid’s Pocket Guide and The Worst Case Scenario Handbook, Allison Janse―a committed Germ Freak―gives readers the lowdown on how to avoid the common cold and survive flu season with your health and sanity intact. This is the practical information your doctor won’t give you (they always say not to worry and may be giving you the latest bug by not washing their hands when they examine you!), but which you’re almost literally dying to know, such as:
- How clean is my office desk? (In terms of germs, it’s better to eat off a toilet seat)
- Do I have to shake that snotty person’s hand? (The new etiquette says no)
- Are my hygiene products killing me? (No, but some increase your risk of illness)
- How do I get out of a public restroom without contamination? (Here’s a five-step plan)
- What is the best way to wash my hands? (You have two detailed options)
- Am I the only germ freak in America? (Don’t worry, 48% of women either use the toilet guard or make their own)
- Why didn’t anyone tell me about The New Respiratory Etiquette? (Yes, it’s real, and it’s specifically designed for Germ Freaks just like you)
Germ Freaks unite! This book will help unenlightened germspreaders get a clue…or at least a HandiWipe…and prove to the world that, in the end, it’s far better to be safe than sorry.
Are You a Germfreak? Some Ways to Tell
- Your exit strategy from a public bathroom rivals an NFL playbook
- Your family and friends think Purell is your scent
- You check elevator riders for anyone who is sniffling and opt for the stairs― even though you’re going to the Penthouse
- You turn all public bathroom faucets with a piece of tissue
- You avoid buffets that don’t have 10-foot-high GermGuard barriers
- You think BYOB means bring your own bathroom hand towels
- You only go to afternoon (or really bad) movies because they’re less crowded
If you answered yes to any one of these questions, you’re on your way to becoming a Germ freak.
If you answered yes to two or more, congratulations, you’re a full-fledged freak.